WHAT DOES REAL LOVE LOOK LIKE!

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http://www.psychalive.org/what-real-love-looks-like/


A fantasy bond is created when two people replace real acts of genuine love, admiration, passion, and respect with the role and ritual of “being” in a relationship. Though this process is often unconscious, people can begin to recognize patterns and behaviors characterized by a Fantasy Bond that are destructive to their closest relationships.

Real love may seem less exciting than our shiny fantasies, but it is a million times more rewarding.   Here are the qualities that I believe make up a truly loving relationship.
Honesty — Honesty is an essential component for a healthy relationship. Part of treating someone lovingly is being honest with them about your feelings. Often people try to shield their loved ones from the truth, believing ‘what they don’t know won’t hurt them’ or that they are protecting their partner’s feelings, however being lied to is even more painful than hearing painful truths. Part of real love is learning to trust one another, so betraying someone’s trust does a tremendous amount of damage to loving relationships.
Affection – Physical affection and sexuality are vital components of a loving relationship. Affection and sexuality are not only important in developing an intimate relationship, they are also essential aspects of keeping a relationship alive and exciting throughout the years. Once a relationship becomes more routine couples often fall into a pattern of placing less importance on physical intimacy and casual affection. However, simple acts of affection such as holding hands, making eye contacting and engaging in small flirtatious behaviors can help people feel closer to one another.
Companionship – It is important to share activities and do things with your partner that light both you up. Often when people first fall in love, they bond over a shared love of certain activities and mutual interests. To maintain a healthy relationship, I suggest that couples  continue to share their mutual passions and be willing to try new things together.
Respect – Respecting your partner’s individuality is a key factor in having a truly loving relationship. At the beginning of relationships, people have a natural respect for one another as separate individuals and they tend to relate to each other with kindness and genuine interest. As time goes on, couples often lose this sense of autonomy and relate to one another as part of a unit. When we lose perspective and stop thinking about our partner as a separate person, we often begin to act in ways that are more intrusive, manipulative or disrespectful rather than being sensitive, understanding and independent.
Openness – Issues are bound to arise in long-term relationships. Being open to dealing with issues is one of the most significant factors in creating and maintaining a successful partnership.  It is important to be open, willing to look at yourself and make changes, in order to develop a meaningful relationship. Rather than acting defensive, overly hurt or angry when your partner gives you feedback, try to adopt an attitude of openness and curiosity about what they are trying to tell you. When we are closed to suggestions, criticism, or new experiences, we limit our self development and often begin to resent our partners. When we are open, however, we are able to develop ourselves and our relationships further.